10 April 2007

Windows Vista code –exclusive–

/******
* (c) 2007 Misrocoft Corp.
* All rights reserved
**********/
#include
class WindowsVista extends WindowsXP implements Nothing
{
boolean beta = true;
WindowsVista( )
{
checkIfHardwareIsCompatible( );
/** Ok. The idiot seems to have some high end hardware.
* Lets make his life miserable
*/
runInternetExplorer7();
}

void checkIfHardwareIsCompatible( )
{
/*
* Lets make sure that half the world cannot run this OS while
* we fix all the bugs
*/
if((installedRam < 2GB) && (processorSpeed < 4GHz))
{
MessageBox("Your System does not seem to be capable of running zero error glass and the like. Please upgrade the hardware and try again.”);
WaitTillPoorGuyReadsTheMessage( );
bsod(); // Blue Screen of Death http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Screen_of_Death
}
}

void runInternetExplorer 7()
{
IE7 ie7 = new IE7();
ie7.featureSet = firefox_features + safari_features + opera_features + lot_of_bugs;
ie7.run();
WaitWhileThePoorGuy LooksAtTheNewInt erface();
bsod();
}

/**
* return true when product is stable.
*/
boolean isReadyForRelease( )
{
int lastReportedNumberO fBugs = 3457888E+08
int totalNoOfNewFeature s = 600;
boolean readyForRelease = false;
sendFeatureSetToMar ketingGuys( );
while (marketingGuysAreAt It)
{
Thread fixBugsWhileInBeta = new fixBugsWhileInBeta( );
fixBugsWhileInBeta.assignProgrammer (oneBug);
fixBugsWhileInBeta.start();
if(programmersAreNotSufficient)
{
hireFromXBOXDivision();
}
if(aMonthHasPassed)
{
announce("Windows Vista Consumer Version Will be delayed by one more month");
dropAFewFeatures( );
totalNoOfNewFeatures = totalNoOfNewFeatures - 10;
}

/** Boss strictly told me that we should have no more than * 7000 bugs
* when we ship the item
*/
if(lastReportedNumberOfBugs- - == 7000)
return true;
}
}

int main(void)
{
WindowsVista vista = new WindowsVista( );
vista.runWindowsXP( );
return plentyOfMoneyforBilly;
}
}


source : http://egjug.org/hashimblog/2007/03/08/windows-vista-code-exclusive/#comments
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